“Danger, Will Robinson!” Familiar words spoken by The Robot to Will Robinson, the nine year old child prodigy in the 1960’s series Lost in Space.

Times really haven’t changed much. There is still danger in space – cyberspace. For many people today, the lure of popularity, exposure, venting, revealing is seductive. It’s seductive to the point that Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Tagged and other social networking sites are a glaring billboard to your inner most thoughts and behavior. There is danger in cyberspace. And the danger we are talking about is to your repute and career. Did you know that employers are now searching the social networking sites of prospective candidates to see how they present? From our personal experience with these sites, the presentation for some is a fast track to career disaster.

We believe, and our Growth without Sabotage^TM model reinforces, that far too many people and companies sabotage their chance for success. Many do it without even knowing that they are doing it. Regarding your presentation on the social networks, we want to shout this message as loud as we can: Expose yourself to the cyberspace world in a way that is embarrassing, demeaning and reckless, then be prepared to find a very difficult time getting employed. If you think this is a misguided warning – do the research yourself. Employers are not hiring and are withdrawing offers based on what they see on social network sites. It’s really that simple. Is it fair – it doesn’t matter whether it’s fair or not – because it is!

We encourage you to consider the following:

-          We advise not to – but if you must bare your soul, brag to your friends and expose yourself in a less than flattering way – be ready not to find a job. Employers still look for serious talent.

-          Social networks can be your worst professional nightmare – remember the adage, reputation is hard won and easily lost? Don’t be ignorant in understanding that your (and your friends or connections postings) impact yours.

So are we saying that using the social networks is a bad thing? Absolutely not. But do consider:

-          Using social networking as a billboard to advertise your competencies and interests

-          Using it as a way to communicate and update your friends and colleagues, but in a way that is not demeaning or immature – we advise to err on the side of professional and conservative disclosure.

-          Using it as a networking tool to find a job or build a business

-          Using the social network to build your personal brand – by how you would like to be seen by prospective employers or the buyers if you are starting a business

-          Using other technology responsibly (i.e. cell phones, iPhones, Blackberry’s) such that you are not so plugged in you are disengaged with those around you and from opportunities in front of you

-          Learning more about how to best use social networking to your benefit by following and emulating other professionals that you know are successfully doing so.  Most social networks also have great tutorials on how to use the network platform.

There is tremendous power in social networks. It can be used to your advantage or it can be used as a way to deselect you. It’s your choice how you want to use it.

Copyright 2009 Kubica and LaForest

I’m a 4^th Degree Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. In addition to teaching, I am an avid student of the art. Often times we hear writers reference the martial arts and how martial arts principles can be applied in business. While I agree, saying it doesn’t make it so. Yes, martial arts principles can be applied to business, but it is so much easier to say it than to do it.

Take the often used phrase “I got your back”.  In the martial arts world, these words have real meaning. It is not just a nice thing to say; it’s certainly not a throw away line. It has meaning, and it has real consequences. Where I have seen it most, and experienced it personally, is in a Black Belt test. Each Black belt candidate has an uke (a partner who helps him/her by being their training partner and the attacker for the self-defense portion of the test – and part of the self defense is against weapons: knife, club and gun). An uke can make you look great or incompetent. Or worse, can get you hurt. That’s why the choice is so important. When I train Black Belt candidates, I insist they train with their uke. Students taking the test can also commit to one another by helping each other get through the test (it’s a multiple day test that tests you mentally, physically and it tests your martial arts skills) – this is an absolutely amazing thing to watch when it happens.

The uke is committed to making you look good and keeping you from getting hurt. Their job is to bring out the best in you. They will push you, challenge you, bring the techniques on hard (it can be unsettling with a knife), and push you to the brink, but they will never let you fail or underperform during the test or let you get rattled by the instructors running the test. Talk about balance. They are the hardest on you in private and your greatest protector in public (i.e. the test). No outsider can penetrate that relationship during the test. Interestingly, it carries over after test.

When we think of it in the business context, there are very few parallels. Too often people are willing to sell someone out just to look good, make a few more dollars or get a promotion. Businesses don’t form teams, they manage committees. The way of business we guess. Partnerships can be destroyed by many things. Just ask your accountant or lawyer about the wisdom of partnerships. Listen to the sour stories that abound. Business friendships can end sometimes when it’s not convenient, or it gets too hard. But it doesn’t have to be this way. “I got your back” brings you to what we refer to as a “formidable team”. It can’t be dislodged. The team works together for a common end. In business we’re not that concerned about competing against partners or friends, what makes us stand up and be concerned is when we know we’re going up against a formidable team. That’s tough competition.

There is a parallel between the principles and teachings in the martial arts with the business environment, especially working in a partnership. But it’s a whole lot harder than you can imagine. It is doable, but like preparing for a Black Belt test, it takes training, persistence, patience and an outstanding uke / partner, who truly has your back.

Copyright 2009 Kubica and LaForest

Have you seen one of those T-shirts that say “it’s not how you play the game that counts, but how you look while you’re playing the game.” Well at least they got part of it right. How you look does influence the majority of people’s interpretation of you.  We have about 30 seconds to make a first impression, and that first impression (positive or negative) is generally lasting. And this is gracious-many experts say that first impressions are made within the first 10 seconds.

But, it takes more than looking good if you want to be truly effective in business. We all know the people who absolutely look great. Well groomed; well dressed. And that’s it; that’s all they’ve got. “They” are pejoratively referred to as the “empty suit”. Executive presence is more than the Armani suite, the Chanel leather portfolio, the Rolex watch. We believe that it’s about being the part. It’s about your knowledge and skills, AND your self-confidence, self-esteem aka a positive self-image.

Executive presence is about preparing you, and yes, taking care of yourself. People with low self-esteem (and this is an issue for some regardless of the position they hold) and a low self-image, often neglect their health and their appearance. We are not talking about looking like the models in GQ or Vogue; we are talking about having a suitable and appropriate self-respect.

Like it or not (yes, we know this is a very sensitive area, but we are committed to candidness and performance support) tired, overweight, out of shape and sloppy people present a very different image than people who take care of themselves. And please don’t kill the messenger.

We are also talking about preparing and growing yourself. What you read, who you listen to, what you watch on television contributes to who you are as a person. In a previous blog we talked about the importance of building real relationships. Building relationships is dependent in part on finding common ground, areas of mutual interest. Involved, informed people like to know they are talking to involved, informed people – not just a phantasma wrapped up in a nice suite.

So, if this resonates with you, here are key points for you to consider:

-          Unplug - the more you are on your iphone or blackberry, the less

available you are to those around you. You are missing opportunities!

-          Look at and connect with those around you - be willing to smile at

others, look them in the eyes and hear what they have to say

-    Match your dress to the client situation

-          Read – be familiar with current events, best sellers and community events relevant to the client

-          Use intelligent words; sound intelligent (and be prepared to discuss your reasoning and opinion if asked!)

-          Take care of yourself – get adequate sleep, exercise, and practice good nutrition

-          Speak confidently and don’t end sentences as if you are asking a question – unless of course, you are asking a question

-          Be aware of annoying and distracting habits – if you are uncertain what yours are – have someone you know and trust point them out to you

-          Ask provocative questions

-          Carry yourself with confidence and as if you care about what you are doing – PS-we believe you do, so show it!

-          Get help if you feel you are not presenting well – a performance coach or image consultant can do wonders for you

-          Act like a peer regardless of whom you are talking to

-          Be interested more than interesting. You don’t have to be an amazing conversationalist to talk with others and form new relationships – you just have to be interested in them, and you do this by asking meaningful questions and then acknowledging that you’re hearing and understanding them. For example, “that’s very interesting, would you tell me more about that”

-          Be highly conscious of your personal presentation. We strongly believe that when you look good, you feel better about yourself, and when you feel better about yourselves, you will exude more confidence. When you are more confident, it seems easier to extend to others.

Copyright 2009 Kubica and LaForest

Have you ever tried to un-ring a bell? You can’t do it. Once the bell is rung, the sound rapidly radiates through what was silent space. You can’t call it back. It’s done. You just have to wait until the sound is no more.

Thoughtless words, thoughtless actions, thoughtless behavior is like ringing a bell. Once it’s out there you can’t take it back. Sure, you can say – I’m sorry or please forgive me – pabulum like that, but you can no more take it back then you can un-ring a bell. And if you think you can admonish the people who were offended by your remark or behavior with something like – “get over it; you need to be tougher than that; it’s just the way I am” you have just added insult to injury and made yourself look the fool. The way you are? Really. It’s the way you choose to be, and no one has to feed into your self imposed excuse for bad behavior. Recent examples can be seen in the behavior of the past Governor of New York (Elliot Spitzer) and the Governor of South Carolina (Mark Sanford).

In business meetings and sales meetings, spouting out in frustration is an example. No one really cares that you are frustrated or intolerant about something or someone, but they sure do care about what you said about them and how you treated them. And if you happen to be the boss, well you just became a statistic – the number one reason employees leave their job is because of their boss. If you happen to be a salesperson, well you just lost the sale. It’s that simple.

Business success is built on real-relationships and real-relationships take time to build and solidify. One misstep, one bell rung can derail a seemingly solid relationship. As the relationship goes, so does the business. Months of developing a relationship can be destroyed literally in a moment.

Here are some thoughts to consider:

-          Understand that comments made in frustration or in anger have far reaching consequences

-          Few care if you are upset or frustrated – they care how they feel and how you contributed to their feelings

-          Think before you talk – it’s not a bad idea to count to 10-at least 5

-          Work on building your social-emotional IQ

-          Ask a trusted colleague how you come across – there may be evidence of subtle behavior that if recognized could prevent an outburst

-          Ask yourself, does it really matter? You don’t have to win every argument. Business is not war. Recognize that it just may be possible that someone with a different opinion may be right.

Copyright 2009 Kubica and LaForest